Thursday, February 11, 2010

Dear Grandma....

GRANDMA.

That's how I like writing e-mails, when it shows that I'm using a loud but welcoming voice (all capital letters, but no exclamation points).

Anyway.

What are you doing Tuesday evening? Can I take you out to dinner? I have all kinds of money with this job that I don't know what to do with. If we don't go out to dinner, I will spend the money on drugs. Lots and lots of drugs.I will probably also rent and murder strippers. And that will be on you. You don't want that. Please, nobody wants that. Especially the strippers.

Anywhere you want to go and we'll go.

I've been so crazy busy these last few months and now everything's sort of settling, and I have more time and money. I don't see you (or anyone) often enough. Also, I totally never took you out for your birthday back in August. I said I was and then I had to skip town (for legitimate reasons, like and unlike an outlaw, but even outlaws have grandmothers).

So. Dinner. Tuesday. If not Tuesday, another evening? Yes?

Hooray! Huzzah!

Love,
Jake

1 comment:

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