Thursday, April 5, 2012

"when i saw my bones in the woods"

"when i saw my bones in the woods"
written on a memory by jake kilroy.

i saw my bones once,
in a hallucination
in a campsite bathroom
in my youth.
and all i could think was,
isn't that what aging is?

doesn't age sneak up like that,
like a thief in the night,
taking your precious youth
and leaving you with the remains?
you're fat, then muscle,
then bones, then dust.
but if i were a skeleton,
a lucky one with a top hat,
my tux would always be fitted
and i'd spend my night in closets
sharing secrets with demons.
how bad is too bad?

at the time i saw my bones in the woods,
i wanted to be an actor.
but i knew i wouldn't ever leave the characters.
i'd store them within myself until they broke out.
it was a close call -
i was nearly an abandoned storage container
of bittersweet dreamers and cowardly rogues.
i was too young to have guts,
so i used my imagination
until i grew into my sharp tongue
and found a grand laugh
that resided in me like a hermit,
living on a cliff,
living on whatever he could.

when i left the bathroom,
i told my father what i saw.
he told me, sometimes mirrors do that.
i asked him what mirrors did.
he said, sometimes they show you what you don't want to see.
and he gave me a smile
so i gave him a nod.
and then i lost my eyes in the fire
and roasted my marshmallow,
and never spoke of it again.

No comments: