Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Three Questions I'd Ask As A Pageant Judge

Like all good jobs, such as freelance candy eater, executive porn game tester, bitch manager, I don't think there's any real chance of me ever becoming a professional question-asker for the beauty pageant circuit, but, if I did, here are three hard-hitting questions I'd ask:
  • "Now, Miss...Oklahoma, is it? Ok, please summarize the ending of Lost for me in precisely 14 words. You have ten seconds."
  • "Miss Nebraska, when should pimps get out of the game? Is there a point of no return or is it up to the bitches?"
  • "Miss Ohio, is there a god or not? Make your decision and prove your case."


Jason Kornfeld said...

I find it interesting that all your questions were directed toward a similar area of the US.

Jake Kilroy said...

Well, that's because if they were coastal states, my question would always be, "Can I have your number or what?"

Jason Kornfeld said...